Destroy All Humans All Over Again

An Alien Anti-Hero

Destroy All Humans is now on the Nintendo Switch. Take control of Cryptosporidium 137 as he goes on a mission to find his previous clone, Cryptosporidium 136. Additionally, you also need to collect Furon DNA and bring down Majestic. Slowly you will climb the ranks of the U.S military in disguise. You’ll have to eviscerate, vaporize and probe your way through a myriad of humans and cows to achieve your goals.

Destroy All Humans
image credit: THQ Nordic AB

The Day in the Life of an Alien

Destroy All Humans’ gameplay holds up fairly well for this upgraded, 16-year old game port. It’s a third-person shooter that adheres to the stereotypes of the Cold War era in the United States. Your on-foot weaponry includes the Zap-O-Matic, Disintegrator Ray, Ion Detonator and Anal Probe. The Zap-O-Matic will shock your victims. The Disintegrator Ray dissolves the skin and flesh off your target, leaving behind charred skeletons. The Ion Detonator is akin to a grenade launcher. And the probe is used to extract DNA enriched brains. Additionally, Crypto has some psychic abilities. You can use your telekinesis to move things as you please. You can also use a Holobob, which creates the illusion that Crypto is a human. Be wary of the Majestic, though, as they can see through this disguise. Also at Crypto’s disposal is his flying saucer.

This is equipped with a few different weapons. The Death Ray will burn up humans, vehicles and buildings. The Abducto Beam is a tractor beam that will allow you to fling victims and objects like a ragdoll. The Quantum Deconstructor will melt any victims within the blast radius through a radioactive bomb. Lastly, the Sonic Boom detonates on contact and creates a blast and tremor.

Should You Make the Switch?

Though not terrible, the ported version of this game does have its expected flaws—the frame rate caps at 30 frames per second. Textures sometimes either aren’t loaded or displayed correctly in cutscenes. You will also experience long load times. Some positive changes were implemented specifically for this release, however. You can now use your powers and weapons at the same time.

This was previously a frustrating limitation of the previous console versions. The speed of the game is also increased with the use of rocket boots. These make your traversing of the sandbox maps much less tedious. A returning part of what makes the game so great is the script and voice acting. All of it plays into a satire of the time period and is hilarious. Whether it’s NPCs chatting in or out of a cutscene or Crypto and Pox bantering during a mission, it’s always enjoyable to listen to. The main gripes would be the repetitive mission types.

You’re only playing about three different mission variations, which can become a bit dull. The side missions are even less interesting. With the game’s campaign only lasting roughly five hours, there’s not much reason to go back and complete the boring side missions.

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Written by Trevor Forrest.